POST #2: DAY 3779 OF DOGSCAPE

I woke up today. The Dogflesh started spreading It was on the sheets and large eyes were staring at me, mouths gaping hungrily. Some were barking, mingling with the neverending cacophony of wailing dogs. One tried gnawing at me with its fanged snout. I cut it off with my hatchet, got my laptop, and headed out. I walked among the rolling hills of sentient Flesh for a while. I found an orchard of Dogtrees and Dogfruit. Then the rain came in. It always rains one of three things: Dog Blood, Fishwater, or pure water. Dog Blood is not drinkable, but the other two are, though I never much cared for the Fishwater... too many pieces of fish still left inside.

Thankfully, it was pure water today. I was able to collect some with a canteen to carry with me. I walked, munching on a Dogfruit and looking around at the fucked up world around me.

If I remembered correctly, the Oasis is a couple hundred miles to the north. I might find my way there eventually.

But first... the fucking river.

Let me explain something. While the Dogflesh covers all land on Earth, there's other... Things... too. The Halfdogs being one of them. Now, water... that's the Fishriver territory. Somehow, the fish in the river slowly... dissolved... melted... now they're a bunch of floating body parts on a mass of liquid made up of mostly their juices and liquids. It's disgusting, its noxious, and I had to cross it.

I tried looking around for something to use as a raft. The Dogtrees, while trees, do not float. For one thing, their gaping, wailing mouths cause water to collect and sink. Secondly, you can't... cut down... a Dogtree... at least without tentacles popping up... and eyes...

It was not a pleasant experience. I couldn't swim across... well, I could, but I would leave all my stuff behind. I could throw my stuff over, but the laptop would break, get eaten, or both. In this Crapsack World, probably both.

However, I managed to find a narrow gap in the river, so I cut down one of the Dogtrees. The mass of bloody tentacles, strands hanging out at places, tried to grab at my face. So I hacked off the tentacles and did my best to carry the tree to the narrow part and lay it across.

It was tough going and even tougher getting across, but I made it finally. However, I noticed a couple of things poking their heads out at me... Lizardmen.

Fucking Lizardmen. Let me explain. They are a tribe of naked things running through the Dogforests. They were once human, but their desert lifestyle and the biomatter experiment caused them to mutate into part lizard part human ... things... or Things. They have untold number of eyes, anywhere between 1 and 30 tails, a series of almost tentacle-like tongues, and usually their skin ranges from the "partially sick" to "deeply hued vomit" shades of green. They work with each other, but they're not human anymore. And they don't like people who are still human at all.

The tribal leader guy, who had 30 tails (how many tails you have signifies how important you are in their culture... I know. Hey, don't laugh. If you had 30 penises, you'd be worshipped. And don't deny it.) and 5 eyes on his head, licked at one of them with his tentacle tongues while he sized me up. Then, he made a weird chittering noise, and then my following statement probably explains enough...

"OHFUCKSHITFUCKSHITRABABAABABABABABABABABABABBA..."

Thankfully, they're also fairly slow creatures unless when they crawl on all fours. The only ones who had enough legs to do that were already easy targets for my pistol. The others tried their best to lumber or hop after me. Another thing I could be thankful for is the, for lack of a better term, giant fucking pitbull head charging everyone at about 70 MPH. I ducked out of the way. The Shambling Lizardmen... not so lucky. They were eaten. I then saw that the giant pitbull head was attatched by a long, tapering, and bloated neck to an equally long, tapered, and bloated body. The tail tapered off into a very sharp point and it used this against the thirty-tailed guy. Poor Lizardman was skewered.

Anyways, I found their camp. A couple Dogfruits, Fishwater, pure water, even a Dogcow... the cow and the beef is still in there somewhere, but Dogflesh is better than no meat... still, I haven't had beef in two years. Dogcows are fucking rare!

Anyways, after a good couple of minutes nomming on some roasted Dogcow, I decided to find another place to rest for the night. I found another house. The occupants weren't Halfdogs, though. They were probably already assimilated into the landscape. The beds were covered in Dogflesh, so I'm sleeping on their kitchen table. Yeah. I know. Sucks to be me.

Anyways, I'm on the table now, just finishing this up. Of the... four... maybe five people who have a computer and are alive in this hellhole, are you enjoying this so far?

I certainly amn't.

Well, going to sleep. Goodnight, Moon. Goodnight, Laptop. Goodnight, Billions of Wailing Dogthings... Goodnight, Roger.

ROGER, SURVIVOR