FUCKITY FUCK STILL RUNNING. I'LL TRY NOT TO DROP THE LAPTOP. OR FALL OFF A CLIFF. JESUS CHRIST.
Okay, so today was supposed to be pretty normal. A couple barbarians, a couple new toys, a chance to sit around and eat some Dogfruit while sleeping. And then there was a laugh. It sounded very loud, like a series of yelps, finally going down to a low giggle. When the laugh echoed, the Dogscape started pulsing.
A pulsing Dogscape is an unhappy Dogscape, and an unhappy Dogscape is deadly at the best of times. So I found it best to put whatever was causing the Dogscape to pulse and kill it before it does any more harm. So I grabbed the repeater with the most ammo and prepared for the worst...
Needless to say, the Dogscape was feeling like it could get even wOHFUCKGIANTPAWGIANTPHUGEDOGTREESJUSTCOLLAPSEDFROMTHETREMOR.
I'm sorry, what was I saying? Oh right. What I was saying was GIANT CLAW NEARLY GORED ME FUCKFUCKRUNNINGRUNNING...
I'm sorry, but a certain giant beast made of dogs is really fucking up my train of thought. Okay, when I got to the source of the laughing I saw the Dogscape start growing a large... almost tumor-like lump. I also noticed, far off, on Dog Head Hill- my name for a giant foothill that is now the upper head of a Siberian Husky- a giant... thing, staring at me. I noticed yellow eyes and black slits even from this far off. It looked like a giant wolf or a coyote.
Then they attacked. Giant men tattooed in black ink and clothed in dog fur. They carried heavy sticks with dog heads on the end, growling menacingly.
Barbarians. Twenty eight of them. One of me. Oh goody...
I pulled out my repeater and shot a few of them instantly. Then they hollered in dog-like yells and raised their sticks in the air in some kind of mad chant. And then they charged.
I took down another three of them with my repeater before I was forced to run. I don't like dangerous humans with weapons. I don't like dangerous humans with weapons that bite even more. So, we played a game of cat and mouse. A thick pile of Doggrass was nearby, so I dove in and ran through the maze. The barbarians who were disoriented were easy targets. However... I kind of tripped. Shut up, there was a huge paw RIGHT THE FUCK THERE... oh never mind.
In any case... the remaining barbarians had me in a circle. One was about to shove the growling, biting stick at my face when we all heard a faint rumble. Another laugh, like the one that brought me to this spot, rose up again, coming from Dog Head Hill... coming from that huge slitted eye thing.
The barbarians had a look of horror emerge on their faces, and they scrambled in all directions.
Didn't know what it was about. Didn't care. Didn't know.
I made it back to the house and collected all my things. I noticed the rumbles getting louder, the shaking getting more violent. I thought I could outrun whatever it was. Then I heard it stop. And then three loud thumps.
I looked out the window. Wish I didn't.
The Dogmother was crawling like a festering baby... a festering baby made of Flesh... out of the Scape itself. It gave two loud barks, then turned its eyeless head towards me...
then it charged...
needless to say, the fact that I have not dropped this, gotten trampled, or made any typographical errors is a miracle in itself... in any case I don't think it's going to catch up to me any tSPRINTING OH GOD ITS SPRINTING. SIGNING OFF NOW. BOOP
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